Tuesday, March 1, 2011

This is the stuff that drives me crazy...

She had blown me off. AGAIN.

I knew it was coming, and yet it didn’t annoy me any less.

My girlfriend and I had planned to get together for a quick hour long coffee date. We had both not seen each other for almost 2 ½  months, and due to both of our work schedules (and a couple cancellations), we had been unable to connect. I was leery of the possibility  fact that somehow last minute something would inevitably come up, she'd have to work late, etc. etc.

That morning I had opened my schedule book and looked at my day.

@700 COFFEE DATE W/ ***********

I shot a quick text over to her just to confirm. She texted back several hours later saying just what I had suspected. Something came up.

I pretended like it was no big deal and texted her back saying that it was ok but I really did wish we could get together. SOON. Part of it was because I really did miss her and wanted to connect about what was going on in her life. Part of it was that I felt rejected. Inside I became irritated and annoyed, and had a ugly attitude beginning to grow.

She always blows me off!

She drives me crazy when she does this!

She hates me!

I'm so done with her!

I'm never going to try to do anything with her again.EVER!!!

Isn't that U.G.L.Y.? Most definately. And not to mention, it defiantely was not a Christ-like loving attitude in the least.

Immediately following those thoughts, "7x77" popped into my head.

In Matthew 18:21-22 (the parable of the unmerciful servant) it says:
  21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”  22 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

Matthew 18:32-35 continues to say, "Then the master called the servant in. 'You wicked servant,' he said, 'I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?' In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. "This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart."
Was I extending forgiveness that I myself want and desire to my sweet friend? Absolutely not. I was acting like the wicked servant (from the above parable) who was forgiven of my debt and than went out and demanded payment from a debtor. Instead of extending grace to my friend, I was condeming her for "something coming up" in her schedule.

How can I possibly expect to be forgive of my sins or wrongs done to a friend/family member etc but not myself be willing to extend grace and forgiveness towards someone who wrongs me?
Im urked glad it happened. Really.

Reality check. I HATE being cancelled on.

There is this song that Francesca Battistelli sings called, 
This Is The Stuff

"This is the stuff
That gets under my skin
But I've gotta trust
You know exactly what Your doing
Might not be what I would choose
But this is the stuff You use"

Funny what God chooses to use to teach us what he wants us to learn.

Verses to check out:
-Matthew 18:21-22

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